Saturday, November 20, 2010
28. I HAVEN'T EVER SAID WHERE I WAS GOING (columbia crossroads, pennsylvania, 1973):
Probably because I never knew and I wasn't going anywhere anyway and the things that all go into making up a life well they were always part of mine : blue sky birdies flying sideways along the plain the long thin fields of some stupid Pennsylvania flatland chiseled with corn and oats and hay and grits - any affirmation of time and all its loving - the same way that log cabins eventually fall down in the rain and snow that's the way that my ideals and ideas too went away - crushed and crumbled by the baddest of bad endings and even today as I think back over the past all the rock and roll motherfucking goons they still seem stuck in straddling stairways and standing in lines to play their fucking music or listen to someone else do the same : whatever : I'd go too far away to be far enough away from that posturing and self-propelled bullshit runs around the corner and around the barn and the old dead guy in the tool shed who died atop that old barrelhouse piano that had settled in there years and years before he too was dead (his name was Bart) on his own volition approval and a smirk stamped upon his face and that piano had withstood thirty winters of brutal cold but somehow it still played maybe 70 keys anyway and here and there a few mice lived within it with their stuffing and hay and twine but no matter that old dude was king-cat-crucible and he'd get out there whenever he could to play a few like bars of something they like in bars (he'd say) and it never really sounded any good to me but he was always happy or drunk to a country stupor and walking the ways and the paths and trails of Sylvania County he seemed to did really know what was up - where the pond was in the Summer with the naked girls (we always loved that!) and how to find scrap metal good enough for re-using and/or good enough for selling back to the freaky scrap man Jedidiah Marsonet or 'Jedet' as he called him and he always paid a few bucks over what anything was worth but it was in fun because we could never buy anything much anyway : Troy Pennsylvania Sylvania East Smithfield and Bentley Creek itself nothing there so why waste the dough and Jedet's very nice and atrocious daughter Marnia well she was always worth twice the price of anything else and I'd often just go there just to see her squat or stretch what the hell I thought take a licking and keep on ticking - but you know how boy-thoughts go they run on and on past all the seasons of mirth and I always thought she was so good good enough for sure to wrap that thing twice before I ever stuck it in (I'd always talk like that - boasting my way - when I mentioned it to the likes of Bart) and Bart would smile when I talked like that and then he'd say 'don't do it boy don't get in the trouble it takes and anyway just as fast just jerk it off yerself' he'd say that and I never knowing quite the meaning would back off but I knew anyway so what and I saw a picture of Marnia one afternoon that made my life entertaining anyway back then for a long time old Lloyd Perry had somehow taken nearly a whole roll of pictures of them girls nude swimming one day and somehow too he got them developed out at the high school and yeah you bet they long-time made the rounds just about everywhere and anyway what was to lose who'd not want to look it was all just wonderful stuff and worth their weight in gold or at least Jedet's scrap metal price anyway and right then I knew I loved Marnia and if'n I didn't I could forever anyway and that was a'gonn'a be that since I knew I wasn't going to be going nowhere's anyway.
Probably because I never knew and I wasn't going anywhere anyway and the things that all go into making up a life well they were always part of mine : blue sky birdies flying sideways along the plain the long thin fields of some stupid Pennsylvania flatland chiseled with corn and oats and hay and grits - any affirmation of time and all its loving - the same way that log cabins eventually fall down in the rain and snow that's the way that my ideals and ideas too went away - crushed and crumbled by the baddest of bad endings and even today as I think back over the past all the rock and roll motherfucking goons they still seem stuck in straddling stairways and standing in lines to play their fucking music or listen to someone else do the same : whatever : I'd go too far away to be far enough away from that posturing and self-propelled bullshit runs around the corner and around the barn and the old dead guy in the tool shed who died atop that old barrelhouse piano that had settled in there years and years before he too was dead (his name was Bart) on his own volition approval and a smirk stamped upon his face and that piano had withstood thirty winters of brutal cold but somehow it still played maybe 70 keys anyway and here and there a few mice lived within it with their stuffing and hay and twine but no matter that old dude was king-cat-crucible and he'd get out there whenever he could to play a few like bars of something they like in bars (he'd say) and it never really sounded any good to me but he was always happy or drunk to a country stupor and walking the ways and the paths and trails of Sylvania County he seemed to did really know what was up - where the pond was in the Summer with the naked girls (we always loved that!) and how to find scrap metal good enough for re-using and/or good enough for selling back to the freaky scrap man Jedidiah Marsonet or 'Jedet' as he called him and he always paid a few bucks over what anything was worth but it was in fun because we could never buy anything much anyway : Troy Pennsylvania Sylvania East Smithfield and Bentley Creek itself nothing there so why waste the dough and Jedet's very nice and atrocious daughter Marnia well she was always worth twice the price of anything else and I'd often just go there just to see her squat or stretch what the hell I thought take a licking and keep on ticking - but you know how boy-thoughts go they run on and on past all the seasons of mirth and I always thought she was so good good enough for sure to wrap that thing twice before I ever stuck it in (I'd always talk like that - boasting my way - when I mentioned it to the likes of Bart) and Bart would smile when I talked like that and then he'd say 'don't do it boy don't get in the trouble it takes and anyway just as fast just jerk it off yerself' he'd say that and I never knowing quite the meaning would back off but I knew anyway so what and I saw a picture of Marnia one afternoon that made my life entertaining anyway back then for a long time old Lloyd Perry had somehow taken nearly a whole roll of pictures of them girls nude swimming one day and somehow too he got them developed out at the high school and yeah you bet they long-time made the rounds just about everywhere and anyway what was to lose who'd not want to look it was all just wonderful stuff and worth their weight in gold or at least Jedet's scrap metal price anyway and right then I knew I loved Marnia and if'n I didn't I could forever anyway and that was a'gonn'a be that since I knew I wasn't going to be going nowhere's anyway.
